You should ride two horses with one ass…so long as you have chosen the right horses.

Well, here it is again, another January 1st, another reminder to reflect on last year’s resolution, another chance to get it right.

Last year I made one simple resolution “Stop trying to ride two horses with one ass.”  What I meant was, stop trying to do so much.  I didn’t do it but I don’t consider it a failure.  I actually consider this a huge step forward.  As I tried to slow down, I realized that the less I have to do, that is meaningful to me, the more depressed and lost I feel.  I become negative and judgmental.  I’m not as good of a mother and wife, I don’t work as hard.  So, I’m revising last year’s resolution (I can do that if I want.) and adopting it this year as, “having harsh discernment.”

I’m old enough to know what really makes me happy and what doesn’t.  I’m going to be saying “no” a lot more this year.  In what is apparently selfish there is selflessness.  In saying “no” I make space for doing my best as a mother, being a good partner to my husband, a good daughter and sister, making something outside of my family, being a good friend to good friends, and contributing to my community which is what the distillation of my happiness looks like.  I think having harsh discernment will not resolve my issue of riding two horses with one ass but in finally naming those two horses, obligation and purpose I can happily move forward into 2020.

Giddy up folks!  Happy New Year!

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