Well, here it is again, another January 1st, another reminder to reflect on last year’s resolution, another chance to get it right.

Last year I made one simple resolution “Stop trying to ride two horses with one ass.”  What I meant was, stop trying to do so much.  I didn’t do it but I don’t consider it a failure.  I actually consider this a huge step forward.  As I tried to slow down, I realized that the less I have to do, that is meaningful to me, the more depressed and lost I feel.  I become negative and judgmental.  I’m not as good of a mother and wife, I don’t work as hard.  So, I’m revising last year’s resolution (I can do that if I want.) and adopting it this year as, “having harsh discernment.”

I’m old enough to know what really makes me happy and what doesn’t.  I’m going to be saying “no” a lot more this year.  In what is apparently selfish there is selflessness.  In saying “no” I make space for doing my best as a mother, being a good partner to my husband, a good daughter and sister, making something outside of my family, being a good friend to good friends, and contributing to my community which is what the distillation of my happiness looks like.  I think having harsh discernment will not resolve my issue of riding two horses with one ass but in finally naming those two horses, obligation and purpose I can happily move forward into 2020.

Giddy up folks!  Happy New Year!