From the time I was very young I had the idea that I was destined to do something great. I knew that everyone would know my name and see my face in magazines and on television. I expected my accomplishments to be recognized and applauded by the masses. I perceived greatness from where I was in the world and what I, myself, perceived was great.
Perhaps it is experience or perhaps it comes from the reflection that comes with turning 40 but greatness isn’t coming so much from the external “atta’ girl” that I had expected. I’ve begun to feel a greatness that comes from somewhere else and there is real and satisfying contentment in that. I questioned if I have just given up on my original idea of what greatness is because I know it is an unattainable goal. I don’t think that is what this is. I’ve started to really let go of the concern I had about how people perceive me. I feel like my moral compass is aimed in the right direction and that it is okay to move toward what my intuition tells me what is right.
Now greatness comes from mothering a child that feels loved enough by me to fall fast asleep in my embrace. It comes from the feeling of anonymously giving. It comes from gaining the understanding of something that I had not understood before.
I know that this realization isn’t something that is prophetic and may be trite but it’s what I’m working thru today.